Hey friends! Listen, I knew yesterday what my topic was on today. Wanna know why? Because I was HOT! Yes, I was physically hot because it was a million degrees with 100% humidity but what I am specifically talking about is mad. 😡 As I am upset, I thought, “Yep. This is what this week’s topic is going to be about!” So, let’s talk about it.
We are having a deck built on our house. Some of you might have heard me talking about it. This deck is on the larger side and we are adding to our roof line. We have saved for this deck for YEARS and honestly, I am SO EXCITED to get it. But…like most projects, it is not going as planned for a lot of reasons. And truth be told, they are all avoidable reasons. Yesterday, as I was working in the yard (that I hadn’t cut in 2 weeks because of the deck project), I was getting madder and madder about the situation. I was working myself up in a tizzy and I was mad at EVERYBODY. You’ve been there, right?
So is anger a sin?
The short answer is no. It’s a God given emotion. Anger is a signal that something is wrong and needs to be addressed. What you should be angry over is sin and injustice because we serve a God that is just and holy. And man, let me tell you. When reading the Old Testament, there are LOTS of examples of when God was angry. Whew. The quickest example that comes to mind is the Great Flood. He flooded the whole world and destroyed all living creatures except who and what was on the Ark. Why? Because he was OVER the wickedness and corruption on the Earth. I would say He was pretty mad…
Whereas anger is not a sin, how we react to it can be. To be completely transparent, how I acted yesterday was sinful. I was quick tempered and infuriated by our situation. And trust me, everyone knew I was NOT happy. Everyone who couldn’t fix the situation knew about it. I was misusing my anger. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”(Ephesians 4:31-32) Another short verse that is easy to remember is, “…everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment…” (Matthew 5:22)
When you become that angry, you need to pause, reflect on why you are angry and then ask God to help you. Now, look. I did ask God to help me with my anger yesterday because I didn’t like being around me. But was I ready yesterday to reflect? Truthfully, no. I wasn’t mentally ready to work through it. Was that right? Well, I asked God for help and that did help me to simmer down enough to get through the day. Then, I slept (I always have to sleep on it to have a clearer understanding). Today, I was ready to work through it.
Some of the questions I asked myself were:
- Has there been injustice? Was there sin against you, another, or God? Before you look to who your angry with, are you convicted about your own sin or how you have contributed? If so, begin to biblically address sin in you. (Matthew 18:15-17)
- Are you hurt? Has this person hurt you (physically, mentally or emotionally) or opened an old wound? Is your pride wounded or do you feel shame? Be honest with yourself and God about your pain, recall God’s forgiveness of you, and continue to take steps to forgive. (Colossians 3:12-13)
- Are you afraid? Has something stirred up an insecurity? Do you feel threatened? Are you struggling to trust God? If so, confess your fear and lack of trust to God and begin to confront your idols. (Psalm 56:3) If this is the case, I would recommend immediately seeking help.
- Are you frustrated? Has someone failed to meet your expectations? Have you yourself failed them? Examine whether your expectations are realistic and address how you may have sought significance or life apart from God. (Psalm 42:11)
Look, luckily for me, it is just.a.deck. But this deck means a lot to me because this is something I have wanted for years. And we have worked hard to get it. So, there is some minor hurt and a lot of frustration. After reflecting, I do know my anger was just but how I went about it was wrong. And I want to own that. I know that God is completely in control and can bring good out of a mess. I know it will work out one way or another because God’s got me.
I used this example because, typically, I am pretty easy going. And I know a lot of you out there are probably like me. Some of you might struggle and you consider yourself to be hot headed. What’s important to note is, most of us can name a time we misused our anger. Have you ever gotten mad and later felt bad how things went down? Well, that’s a sign your anger might have been misused. All you can do is confess and ask forgiveness from God and from the person you were ugly to unnecessarily.
This week, I challenge you to reflect on the why behind your anger. If you encounter someone who is angry, was their anger just and valid? Maybe, maybe not. But if it’s a “maybe not” situation, maybe you can show them grace. Because they will calm down and they will remember what you said or did. This will cause them to reflect and see that maybe they overreacted. 😬 Not that I’m talking from experience…nope not me.
Love you all and don’t be ugly,
Jennifer
