Hey friends! Today, I want to talk about something that we all grew up hearing. “You need to forgive and forget.” Now friends, I don’t know about y’all but that’s a hard one for me. Let’s be honest for a second, forgiving is hard but doable most times, right? But forgetting…? Man, as much as I want to forget, I can’t and don’t. But what does the Bible say about this? So, let’s talk about it.
In real life, I have a big personality. As I have gotten older, I can tame it when needed but when I am being my true self, I can be alot. For you to see this side of me, I have to trust you and this wasn’t always the case. I used to be more carefree with myself. But in the past, I had people talk about my personality negatively. I am about to get pretty raw here, but it really hurt. I am not sure why it bothers me so bad but it does. I guess because I am more guarded and I feel like if you see that side of me, that’s authentically me. And, for you to see that side of me, you are/were a friend. Over the years, I have forgiven the people who hurt me but I never forgot. I…can’t. And I’m not sure I want to forget. So did this forgive and forget rule come from God?
No. Whew! I am so glad too!
Matthew 6:21 tells us we DO need to forgive. And as a person, I can tell you that letting anger and hurt eat you alive is no way to live. As a Christian, I can tell you that God has given you SO MUCH just so your sins are forgiven. So by not forgiving someone, are you saying you are better than God? I can hear you now, “No Jennifer. It’s complex and hard.” Trust me. I understand. But really, you don’t think it’s complex and hard for God? I’m serious. We ALL have our issues with forgiving but you HAVE to for you.
There are many places in the Bible it tells us to forgive, but nowhere does it say to forget. In fact, if you could just magically forget that might be a concern for you. Let me give you an example. An acquaintance robs you at gunpoint but asks for forgiveness as soon as they rob you. You forgive them and then POOF! You have forgotten all about the robbery. The next day, you come in contact with this acquaintance and they rob you AGAIN because you have no memory. You see what I mean? I know this is extreme but we have memories for a reason. That’s why God created us that way. For our safety, well being, and happiness.
I’ve talked about this before to other friends who struggle with “forgive and forget” and they feel guilty. Some believe that if you can’t forget, then you don’t truly forgive. Forgiving means you are no longer angry. You don’t have any negative thoughts about this person and you don’t seek revenge. In fact, Romans 12:19 tells us we should never seek revenge on anyone at any point of time. Forgiving just means to give it to God and let Him handle the situation and to allow Him to handle YOUR feelings.
By allowing Him to handle your feelings that means you will lose your anger, bitterness, resentment, hurt and your overall negative thoughts. If you have ever been in a situation where you have to forgive (which has to be everyone right?) then you know how these feelings weigh you down and you aren’t yourself. When you finally let go, it feels so good. One of the best feelings in the world to me, is sitting outside in the sun and there is a cool breeze. I swear it feels like a hug from God. That’s what forgiveness feels like to me.
This week, if you have some unresolved forgiveness issues, I want to challenge you to pray and seek God for helping you to forgive. You HAVE TO give it to Him. And likewise, if you have hurt someone, then maybe a way for them to rest with forgiveness is for YOU to reach out and apologize. Extend an olive branch. We all have to live on this Earth until we get to heaven. And fun fact, when you get to heaven, that hurt won’t matter!! So, if it doesn’t matter there, why are you holding on to it here?
Love you all,
Jennifer
