The 5 “L’s” of Life Series
Hey friends! We are continuing our 5 “L’s” of life series and today is listening. Like the other “L’s”, you can go in a million directions with this one. I talk alot about listening to God. But today, I want to talk about becoming a good listener. So, let’s talk about it.
When I went into HR, I wasn’t a very good listener. I heard what you were saying but I didn’t allow it to actually sink in. I would love to tell you that between the 2 degrees I received and the gazillion dollars in student loan debt, SOMEONE taught the importance of listening! If I was taught, I wasn’t listening. (Come on…that was funny) It wasn’t until I was in my career for a minute when I was with an employee who was irate and I was just overwhelmed. I had nothing to say to them that would calm them down. So…I had no choice but to sit there and listen. And they calmed down. When the conversation ended, I hugged them and promised to do what I could (which wasn’t much). She looked at me and said, “I just appreciate you letting me get this off my chest. I appreciate you listening to me.” And that’s the moment I learned to listen.
So what does listening do for people?
First, it affirms them. A the most basic form, when we listen to someone we are acknowledging their existence. Which in today’s world, says alot. In Mark 10, Jesus was surrounded by a crowd when he heard a blind beggar call out to him. Jesus stopped. Jesus called out to Batimaeus and listened to him. He asked Jesus to heal him and Jesus did. Of course, by restoring his sight, it affirmed him but what if Jesus never stopped to listen?
Second, we strengthen each other just by listening. James Dopson once said, “For some strange reason, human beings . . . tolerate stress and pressure much more easily if at least one other person knows they are enduring it.” Is that not accurate? Look at Bartimaeus. This interaction he had with Jesus strengthened him not only by restoring his sight but through the acknowledgement of Jesus when others didn’t think he was worth listening to.
Third, listening allows others to work through their thoughts. I am sure you have been talking to someone about an issue you were having. They might have asked a few questions now and then but by the time the conversation was over, YOU came up with a resolution. Did you know there’s a bible verse about that? Proverbs 20:5 says, “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” How clever that was written in the Bible when you thought YOU were the mastermind behind working out your issue. 🙂
How can we improve with listening?
I’m about to say something profound. I need you all to write this down. Ready? You have to hush and let the person talk. <drops mic and walks away> I’m kidding about the profound part but I’m serious about hushing! When God listens to you, he listens to you. He doesn’t interrupt you. He lets you get it all out. Which circles us back to the beginning!
When you are listening, you don’t have to fix their problems. You just affirm love and compassion. Affirm. Affirm His love to them. By affirming His love, it gives them security. Security that God does love them and He is there for them. And to be honest, He is so much better at “fixing” their problems than you are.
So this week, I want to encourage you to listen to others. When they ask you a question, understand there is a statement behind the question. If they ask you, “Do you ever feel like God ignores you?” That’s how THEY FEEL. And you being the great friend you are, wants to fix their feelings. Work on NOT fixing it. Give them the affirmation they are looking for. If it was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.
Love you all,
Jennifer
