Hey friends! Spring is HERE!!! Guess what else is here? Pollen. đđ» I know, I know. I should be grateful and I amâŠbut everything is just soâŠ.yellow.  And, I am a loud sneezer.  Anyway, we are NOT talking about pollen or my less than quiet sneezes today. Today, I want to talk about friendships but not in the happy go lucky traditional, motivational way. I want to talk about friendship breakups. Is it ok? Letâs talk about it.
I think most of you know me as outgoing. When youâre outgoing, you tend to naturally meet people easily. And I have met A LOT of people and I have had the honor of making A LOT of friends. Some of these people are âjust friendsâ to âthey know so much about me itâs scary and they better stay quiet about itâ. But have you ever made friends with someone, developed a relationship with them and then (for whatever reason) you decided you were no longer compatible? Or! Have you been the friend that was broken up with? Unfortunately, I have been both. Both situations are hard for different reasons.
If you read up on ending friendships, people are conflicted if itâs ok as a christian. We are taught to be kind and patient. To help those who are suffering and to love them unconditionally. And all of that is absolutely true. But the Bible also teaches boundaries. When you draw boundaries, that doesnât give you (or them) the right to be mean or rude. So, in saying that, I believe it IS ok for friendships to end.
Some friendships are seasonal. In the summer of â99, I met a group of girls who were seasonal friends. Literally, one summer we were inseparable and had a BLAST! Because of them, I met Jon! After that summer, we parted ways for one reason or another. It wasnât a harsh split. We had justâŠmoved on. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 sums it up perfectly. Some friends might last you a lifetime and some might be for a season. I have never, ever seen or heard from these girls again. In fact, I canât remember their last name. But because of them, I met my love. I understand why God led me in that season.
Some of these friendships are a little more complicated. When you parted ways, it wasnât because âyou just moved onâ. Itâs because you or them realized you were not on the same page morally. We have all had this friend. You love them. They are so much fun! Until they arenât. One day, while you are laughing and having a good time, you suddenly see something thatâs ânot coolâ. Then you notice other things they are doing that just don’t align with your christian beliefs. When you see this, you stop and think about all the times you laughed or went along with their bad behavior. You realize YOU have allowed them to compromise your beliefs. 1 Corinthians 15:33 warns us of these friends. Even someone with the best character can be impacted by the company they keep.Â
And then there are times, God leads us to do something different. Have you heard the saying, âYou canât see the forest for the treesâ? Well, we can be pretty stubborn. We may think this friend is GREAT! But God, right? He knows. He has a way of leading us in different directions when He sees we are not prioritizing Him. Wanna know how I know this? Matthew 15:38 shows us Jesus drew a boundary and was very aware of how he was investing His time. Â
As I am wrapping up, I know there are other verses that support the contrary. Again. You are not wrong. But I would encourage you to read not just one verse. Read the context. When you have a friend breakup, this doesnât mean you have to go out in a blaze of glory. No, you canât call them a name when they call you one (I know, I know. I struggle too). In fact, walking away peacefully and prayerfully is one of the most loving ways to end a friendship.
Love you all,
Jennifer
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