Hey friends! Man, we had a FANTASTIC vacation bible school. If you missed it, our church almost has a 1:1 ratio for volunteers and kids. I have been a part of churches in the past that had to BEG for volunteers. Not with us! Our church really invests in the kids and I love it. Kathy Huggins is a genius when it comes to these kids and how to keep them engaged. Kathy, your hard work does not go unnoticed. Thank you to everyone that made it possible.
As for this week’s motivation…
This past Friday was my 22nd wedding anniversary. Like anyone who has been married 22 years, we celebrated by eating Mexican food and then going grocery shopping. 🙂 While we were eating, we shared with the server that it was our anniversary. She asked what was the secret. I looked at her and said, “Just don’t give up.” This got me thinking about why I won’t give up. So let’s talk about it!
There are some people who never argue with their spouse (or so they say). Well, for the record, we have and do. To be fair, it doesn’t happen often anymore but that’s probably because we have melted to be the same person at this point. But there were alot of times, I thought marriage was just too hard and we weren’t compatible. Thankfully, Jon saw my spunky, sassy attitude as a challenge and he has never been interested in leaving. But when we got married, we took a vow before God and it was my every intention to honor our vows. Listen, I am NO marriage expert but God has taught me a few things.
First, you have to love. I realize this should be a no brainer but we can’t not talk about it. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 defines love. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Notice the scripture talks about love and not being IN love. Why is this important? If you are like Jon and I (and not a unicorn couple) there will be times, you love each other but you don’t like them at that moment. But just because you have a fleeting thought of not liking them doesn’t mean you leave them. And you need to recognize that you can mentally blow up a minor argument into a full blown, “I’m done” thought. You have to keep a check on your anger.
Second, you have to trust your partner. I can honestly tell you that I trust Jon with all my being. And when I say trust, I mean it every way possible. I trust him with my heart, my soul and my physical self. Proverbs 31:11 states, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack in gain.” More times than not, when marriages fail it is due to trust (or lack of). It is not always pleasant admitting things to your spouse but being open and honest is vital to a marriage.
Third, respect. 1 Peter 2:17 says, “Show proper respect to everyone.” I mean, it’s pretty simple. After I make dinner, I plate Jon’s food. I don’t do this because he asks for it. I don’t do it because I feel like it’s my “job”. He can physically make his plate of food so there is no issue there. I do it because I love and respect him. I WANT to do this small gesture so he sees I appreciate him. Which leads into number 4…
Understanding. Every time we go to Taco Bell, Jon will ALWAYS look at the menu like he’s never seen it. 🙄 Lately, he will just look at me and say, “Order for me.” Want to know why? I KNOW this man like the back of my hand. There are times I order things for him he’s never eaten because I think he will like it. And this helps push him to try new things. I realize this is just Taco Bell but knowing him didn’t happen overnight. And there are times, one of us is upset over something. We have to stop and have a conversation and try to understand what happened that caused us to be upset. It’s imperative we understand each other’s point of view and respect it enough to work on not doing that in the future.
Lastly, the cornerstone of marriage is faith. For many years in our marriage, faith was a sensitive subject. One day, I sat down with Jon and explained my stance on my faith. And guess what? He honored it. Not everyone has a strong faith initially. Some people have to grow in their faith. That’s where we are and that’s ok. I grow in my faith everyday and so does Jon. I’m just a little further ahead and that’s ok. Because we are BOTH growing. Because of faith and that promise we made as a couple before God makes our marriage unbreakable.
Some of you read this and thought, “This doesn’t apply to me because I’m not married.” Hold on! Are you looking for a partner? Do you want to get married? Before you say, “I do” make sure the boxes above are checked. Marriage is not about being perfect because the Lord knows, we aren’t. But what I CAN tell you is I love him more than he knows and I KNOW he loves me more than I know.
This week, evaluate your relationships. Are you deficient in some of these points? If you are, first, it’s ok. Every relationship is deficient in one or more. And sometimes, your deficiencies shift around which is a ton of fun! Pray about your deficiencies. Ask God for help. See where He points you. THEN, talk to your partner. Be honest. Show your partner love, respect, trust, understanding all while honoring Him.
Love you all and see you next week,
Jennifer
