Tag: peace Page 2 of 3

Motivational Monday- Thanks and Giving Series

Hey friends!  Today, I want to continue our Thanks and Giving series as we are quickly approaching the holiday.  Do you have expectations?  Of course you do!  We all do.  What happens when your expectations don’t go as planned?  I would expect you to feel defeated and frustrated with a possible side of disillusionment.  When this happens, what sort of weapons do you use against your discouragement?  Did you know God gives us weapons?  Let’s talk about it.

Many years ago when Jon and I got married, we bought a townhome.  We were only supposed to live in this townhome for 5ish years and then we wanted a “freestanding” home.  Well, we were in debt.  Then, I got pregnant.  We went bankrupt.  Then, the market crashed.  Our 5ish years turned into 11.  We were very thankful to have a roof over our heads but we felt like we weren’t doing Logan justice by not having a yard and we just felt like a disappointment.  At the 11 year mark, we decided to go for it and sell the townhome and buy another home.

Well…we listed our townhome and it went under contract quickly!  So quickly, we have to hurry to find another house to move to!  GREAT!!  We found a home we loved that was in our price range and we were good to go.  We paid for inspections (septic tank, house AND for snakes-a story for later), put a deposit down to have a fence installed the day after closing, and booked movers.  Financially, we were tapped out but hey!  We are moving and making a small profit on the townhome so we should be ok.

36 hours before closing and while we were doing our final walkthrough, we learned the buyers of our home no longer had financing.  Y’all.  I.was.devastated.  Everything was packed.  We were going out to eat at this point because the kitchen was packed.  We had thrown every dollar we had to move and then BAM!  All was gone.  I cried.  I knew we didn’t have enough money  in reserve to do this again so we were stuck in the townhome until we could save enough again.  All I could do was pray.

The house we were buying was a flip.  The man that currently owed the home was a contractor.  He just wanted to sell this house. When we backed out (36 hours before closing) he asked what the issue was.  Everything was explained to him.  He offered to buy the townhome for what we owed on it.  This was great…and stressful.  The money that we thought we would recover would be gone.  But I felt like this was God’s way of giving us an opportunity to move.  Who has this type of opportunity given to them??  Well, we took him up on the offer.  We got the house.  He resold the townhome 13 days later making more profit than we would have made.  But what a roller coaster of emotions, right?

In Ephesians 5, God points to a reality that we don’t like to admit but we know to be true and that’s “the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16).  Because of the brokenness, we have to make the best use of our time.  Paul tells us this for two reasons.  First, the days are evil because we are tricked into thinking we have more time and opportunities than we really have.  Second, the days we live in introduce evils in our lives.  So what are we supposed to do?

Don’t get drunk on wine and be filled by the spirit.  I know what you are thinking?  Jennifer, I am not a drinker so check for me!  Let me explain this one.  Alcohol is a numbing agent.  It helps us to not feel.  But many things can be a numbing agent.  Just because you don’t consume that doesn’t mean you are free.  Don’t ignore the difficulties in your life by burying yourself in sinful behavior.  You might think this will help you avoid pain, but speaking from experience, you are just postponing it.  Instead, be filled with the spirit, and you will be equipped to deal with it instead of avoiding it.

Address one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.  Jennifer, I’m not a singer.  Guess what?  Neither am I!!  But the key takeaway of this verse is “addressing one another”.  Paul wasn’t just telling us something that was for our own good. Paul is addressing the church and wants them to accept their responsibility for one another. He tells them to remind each other of God’s goodness through: Psalms- scriptures of praise, Hymns- songs of praise written by the church, and Spiritual songs- impromptu responses of praise.  God knows you can’t sing!  It’s ok!

Piggy backing off the last point, He wants us to sing and make melody to the Lord.  Not only does he want us to encourage each other with praise but to make worship a regular part of our lives.  Music inspires us and changes us.  It’s hard for the devil to get a hold of us when we are making it a habit to worship Him.

Give thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Paul tells the church of Ephesus to give thanks always and for everything.  When we respond with gratitude, we see things differently.

Lastly, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  The bible says mutual submission helps us walk wisely.  When we attend worship regularly, we develop friendships with like minded people.  They are there to help you in your walk with the Lord.  So, you should respectfully and willingly submit to their help and recommendations when you need it!  They want to succeed!

Look, disappointments will happen.  I don’t care if you are 7 or 77.  As long as you are alive on this Earth, you will have disappointments.  But God, right?  Thankfully, He has our back and He wants to seek him.  In my situation, it all worked out like I wanted.  But what if it didn’t?  What if we had to stay in the townhome longer and we had to let this house go?  I would have always wondered what was He was saving us from…

Love you all and see you next week,

Jennifer

 



Motivational Monday- Thanks and Giving Series

Hey friends!  Ummm, where did Fall go?  I hear it will be back by the end of the week but IT’S COLD!!  Today, I want to continue our Thanks and Giving Series.  In the past week, how many times has something bothered you?  Did you complain about it?  Have you ever met someone who is just negative about everything?  I mean, look at me!  I just complained about the weather!  Well, let’s talk about it.

Years ago, I had a Mustang GT Convertible.  I LOVED that car.  It was so much fun and it would FLY.  It was black with red leather seats.  Seriously, gorgeous car.  One morning, Logan had a soccer game.  I got to the field toting my coffee and chair preparing myself to be cold.  Another parent started talking to me about my car.  I started griping that my wrist was hurting because the cup holders were at an awkward angle.  Y’all.  I didn’t realize how ridiculous that sounded until they just started laughing.  I was very confused and didn’t know why they were laughing.  THIS WAS NO LAUGHING MATTER!!!  I NEED COFFEE AND IT WAS HURTING MY WRIST TO PICK IT UP AT THAT ANGLE!  🤦🏻  The couple simply said, “Jennifer.  First world problems…”

I felt so stupid at that moment.  I was so caught up in myself that I was complaining about the most trivial thing.  I was so caught up in myself that I didn’t even realize how ridiculous that entire conversation was until they spelled it out.  Why was I complaining about the extras in my life?  The extras that at one time in my life, I thought I wouldn’t get?!  As silly as it is, that was a turning point for me.  I knew I needed to be more like Paul.

One of things I started doing was keeping a Grateful Journal.  This was just a notebook.  Nothing fancy.  I started every entry with, “Today I am grateful for…”  Sometimes, it was silly.  “Today, I am grateful for spoons because how else would I eat soup?”  Other days, it was deeper that ended in a story from that day.  This journal helped to reflect on my day and focus on the positive and not the negatives.  Like everyone, every day is not a good day.  If for some reason I was especially down, I would open my journal and read it.  The entries were MY specific joys that occurred in MY life.  My joy and blessings that God gave me.  

Another thing I stopped doing was use less negative language.  Remember my Mustang story above?  I said, “I felt so stupid at that moment.”  And I did.  That was a very accurate statement.  At that point in my life, I felt stupid.  Literally, uneducated and not smart.  I was stumbling through life trying to not be a bad mom and a decent wife.  I didn’t see anything wrong with that negative language because that’s how I felt.  I decided I had to change my wording.  Instead of thinking or talking like I was a bad mom, I would focus on what an awesome kid Logan was.  His successes and attitude.  Do you see how I shifted that mindset?  Logan is a gift from God.  Jon was an answer to my prayers.  Once I started using positive words, it became easier to see the good.  Why couldn’t I see that sooner?

Lastly, stop worrying.  During the time of my story, I was a worry wort.  Seriously.  I worried about the things that could happen that NEVER actually happened.  I worried so much that I developed anxiety attacks.  At one point, I thought I was having a heart attack (seriously!).  People would tell me, “Trust God.”  I would have responded, “I do but…”  There is no but when you talk about God.  I am not going to lie and tell you that I am free of worry.  But what I can tell you is my anxiety level is minimal compared to where I was at that time.  What I didn’t realize (until I truly trusted God) was how worry distracted me from focusing on the good.  When you focus on the good, it is just naturally easier to be grateful.

I would love to be like Paul all around.  Paul didn’t grumble or complain.  He spoke of struggles.  And listen, if anyone has reason to complain, it was Paul.  He endured a lot of suffering.  But he used that suffering as opportunities to learn and grow.  There were times Paul felt inadequate, unsuccessful and rejected but he never used these to complain about God.  

This week, I want to encourage you to identify what is your struggle with staying focused on being thankful.  Are you a worrier?  Do you use negative language to describe situations?  Do you make “mountains out of mole hills”?  Once you identify your biggest struggle, tweak how you handle those situations.  Pray about it.  Seek encouragement from the Lord.  He is your biggest cheerleader.  

Love you all,

Jennifer

 

November Newsletter

We have a lot going on in the month of November!  Clink on the link below to see what’s happening!

NL 11-2025

Motivational Monday

Hey friends!  Guess what??  It’s almost Fall Festival TIME!!!!  WOOOHOOOO!!  If you have never been to our Fall Festival, you need to come.  It’s a lot of fun and the kids have a blast.  Make sure you spread the word and let everyone know.  Remember, it’s next Sunday from 5pm-6:30pm.  

Speaking of spreading the word…have you ever thought about what kind of influence you are?  Are you a positive or negative influence?  Well, let’s talk about it.

Overall, I think I am a glass half full kinda person.  Don’t get me wrong, when I get negative, I am pretty negative.  But, I like to believe people are generally good.  I know that’s not the case of all people.  I also know, people are sinners and not perfect.  Just because they sin, doesn’t make them a bad person, it means they made a bad decision.  Churches are made up of imperfect, sinful people.  Sometimes, as we attend our church, we might learn something about a fellow member or church goer that “upsets” you.  Something they did in the past so therefore you judge them.  Are you holding them to the same standard as a coworker?  A friend?  A family member?  Do you know the whole story?

Just because someone sins and struggles differently than you, doesn’t make them right or wrong.  It doesn’t mean they deserve to be judged more or less than your other brothers and sisters in Christ.  Our past experiences and sins make us who we are today and God uses those experiences (even sins) for you to use for His glory.  So do you use your experience as a light?

In a world filled with darkness, uncertainty, and challenges, the call to “let your light so shine before men” from Matthew 5:16 is a powerful reminder of our responsibility as Christians. It’s an invitation to be a beacon of hope, a source of inspiration, and a reflection of God’s love in our daily lives.

The call to shine in Matthew 5:16 encourages us to let our light shine before others so that they may see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven.  This verse tells us that our actions speak louder than words.  We are called to be more than “just believers”.  We have to put actions behind what we say.  So how do we do that?

We are just nice.  We hold the door open for the person behind us.  We help our neighbor.  We tell someone how good they look today.  We make someone smile.  We buy a homeless man some shoes.  But here’s the thing!  If you are not financially able to help that homeless man, no big deal!  You can pray for him and that’s worth so much.  You can talk to him.  You are…kind.  Small acts of kindness are so small and insignificant to us but it can mean the world to someone who is barely holding it together.  These acts of love, kindness and empathy shines a light on the values and principles of our faith.

And while everyday kindness is essential, the most profound way to shine your light shine is sharing the gospel.  Telling everyone you know about God’s love and salvation.  God’s love is available to everyone even to those who make bad decisions.  By sharing His message is the ultimate way to show love and compassion to others.  People need hope.  They need to forgive and be forgiven.  And they will get that from Him but what if YOU were the reason they know Him?

Are there times you feel like you can’t talk to someone about something because you struggle or struggled with the same sin?  Or, do you feel like since you are sinful, you can’t do something like write a Motivational Monday?  Trust me.  I get it.  I struggle.  But I try to use my life experiences- good, bad and ugly- to, hopefully, be a positive influence.  And you, (yes you!) can do the same.  And remember that being a positive influence is also recognizing those around you aren’t perfect either.  We can’t hold them to a standard that we can’t achieve ourselves.  There’s only one who is perfect.  Remember, let your light shine brightly this week and make a difference in the world one person at a time.

Love you all,

Jennifer


Motivational Monday

Hey friends!  Thanks for being with me for the Wednesday message last week.  So let’s get this motivation started!  What do you do everyday?  And I mean, your routine.  Do you basically do the same things day in and day out?  Or do you do the same thing on a specific day?  Of course you do!  We all do.  When you do those things, are you looking for God?  Let’s talk about it.

Y’all.  Listen.  I love coffee.  Coffee is a form of therapy for me.  I drink coffee first thing in the morning.  I don’t think it helps me “wake up” like some say.  It just starts my day because it’s my routine.  Then, I have afternoon coffee when I get home.  I use this time to unwind.  It’s therapeutic.  I’m drinking coffee right now while writing this!  Typically, depending on the time of the day, I use the same cups and the same mugs.  Again.  It’s my routine.  Do I feel God’s presence as I am brewing the coffee?  Or selecting the same cup?  I mean, truthfully no.  Am I looking for Him?  That’s a no too.

As you are going about your routine day, do you ever stop and say, “Where is God today while I am doing this task?”  Again, if you are like me, I don’t normally ask that question.  But if I did, I am not sure I would feel His presence or hear His voice.  Of course, I feel close to Him when I am praying, worshiping, singing Christian music, etc.  If I am going through a hard time, I feel Him.  But just everyday life?  Right here, right now?

Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”  Present.  So, wait?  He’s present when I am making my coffee?  Yep.  He’s right there.  He’s a present God.  Even on the most very basic day you live.  “The Lord of hosts is with us, the God of Jacob is our fortress.” Psalm 46:7.  So, who does He host?  Angel armies, right?  And the God of Jacob means what?  It means He’s a personal God.  He is there for just me.  And just you.  And that homeless man in Birmingham.  He is here individually for all of us.  So even when we don’t know our issues, He is there.  He is our refuge, our fortress and shield.

It takes discipline to look for God in your routine days.  You have to remember to look for Him.  It takes faith. 

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

Walking is something we don’t really think about (unless you suddenly can’t and you realize how you took it for granted).  But 2 Corinthians 5:7 tell us to walk.  Not run.  Not stop.  Walk.  By walking in faith, we are living in the present.  As we are moving in our mundane way that we don’t think much about, He’s telling us to see His mercy.  To see His goodness.  His faithfulness.

I brought this up because it seems like from October through December, we are busy.  We are busy with the same things year after year.  And most of us want to do these things.  We look forward to this time of year.  But we need to remember to stop and praise Him for the food you had for dinner tonight.  Or the friend that sends a quick text to ask, “How are you?”  Or the look you get from your child or grandchild when they see you.  They light up!  Do you look for Him in those moments?

I am writing this knowing I am guilty of living life everyday and not looking for Him in the mundane things.  And lately, I have been pretty frustrated with the mundane in my life.  But let me tell you something, Matt Fridy spoke in church yesterday about life and stress.  And that made me think about my silly frustrations and my silly stresses.  I think if we look for Him in our most mundane activities, not only will that strengthen our walk with Him but the byproduct will be less stress overall.  Isn’t that how we are supposed to live?

Love you all,

Jennifer

 



Motivational Monday

Hey friends!  Listen, I knew yesterday what my topic was on today.  Wanna know why?  Because I was HOT!  Yes, I was physically hot because it was a million degrees with 100% humidity but what I am specifically talking about is mad.  😡  As I am upset, I thought, “Yep.  This is what this week’s topic is going to be about!”  So, let’s talk about it.

We are having a deck built on our house.  Some of you might have heard me talking about it.  This deck is on the larger side and we are adding to our roof line.  We have saved for this deck for YEARS and honestly, I am SO EXCITED to get it.  But…like most projects, it is not going as planned for a lot of reasons.  And truth be told, they are all avoidable reasons.  Yesterday, as I was working in the yard (that I hadn’t cut in 2 weeks because of the deck project), I was getting madder and madder about the situation.  I was working myself up in a tizzy and I was mad at EVERYBODY.  You’ve been there, right?

So is anger a sin?

The short answer is no.  It’s a God given emotion.  Anger is a signal that something is wrong and needs to be addressed.  What you should be angry over is sin and injustice because we serve a God that is just and holy.  And man, let me tell you.  When reading the Old Testament, there are LOTS of examples of when God was angry.  Whew.  The quickest example that comes to mind is the Great Flood.  He flooded the whole world and destroyed all living creatures except who and what was on the Ark.  Why?  Because he was OVER the wickedness and corruption on the Earth.  I would say He was pretty mad…

Whereas anger is not a sin, how we react to it can be.  To be completely transparent, how I acted yesterday was sinful.  I was quick tempered and infuriated by our situation.  And trust me, everyone knew I was NOT happy.  Everyone who couldn’t fix the situation knew about it.  I was misusing my anger.  “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”(Ephesians 4:31-32) Another short verse that is easy to remember is, “…everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment…” (Matthew 5:22)

When you become that angry, you need to pause, reflect on why you are angry and then ask God to help you.  Now, look.  I did ask God to help me with my anger yesterday because I didn’t like being around me.  But was I ready yesterday to reflect?  Truthfully, no.  I wasn’t mentally ready to work through it.  Was that right?  Well, I asked God for help and that did help me to simmer down enough to get through the day.  Then, I slept (I always have to sleep on it to have a clearer understanding).  Today, I was ready to work through it.

Some of the questions I asked myself were:

  • Has there been injustice? Was there sin against you, another, or God? Before you look to who your angry with, are you convicted about your own sin or how you have contributed? If so, begin to biblically address sin in you. (Matthew 18:15-17)
  • Are you hurt? Has this person hurt you (physically, mentally or emotionally) or opened an old wound? Is your pride wounded or do you feel shame? Be honest with yourself and God about your pain, recall God’s forgiveness of you, and continue to take steps to forgive. (Colossians 3:12-13)
  • Are you afraid? Has something stirred up an insecurity? Do you feel threatened? Are you struggling to trust God? If so, confess your fear and lack of trust to God and begin to confront your idols. (Psalm 56:3) If this is the case, I would recommend immediately seeking help.
  • Are you frustrated? Has someone failed  to meet your expectations? Have you yourself failed them? Examine whether your expectations are realistic and address how you may have sought significance or life apart from God. (Psalm 42:11)

Look, luckily for me, it is just.a.deck.  But this deck means a lot to me because this is something I have wanted for years.  And we have worked hard to get it.  So, there is some minor hurt and a lot of frustration.  After reflecting, I do know my anger was just but how I went about it was wrong.  And I want to own that.  I know that God is completely in control and can bring good out of a mess.  I  know it will work out one way or another because God’s got me.

I used this example because, typically, I am pretty easy going. And I know a lot of you out there are probably like me.  Some of you might struggle and you consider yourself to be hot headed.  What’s important to note is, most of us can name a time we misused our anger.  Have you ever gotten mad and later felt bad how things went down?  Well, that’s a sign your anger might have been misused.  All you can do is confess and ask forgiveness from God and from the person you were ugly to unnecessarily.  

This week, I challenge you to reflect on the why behind your anger.  If you encounter someone who is angry, was their anger just and valid?  Maybe, maybe not.  But if it’s a “maybe not” situation, maybe you can show them grace.  Because they will calm down and they will remember what you said or did.  This will cause them to reflect and see that maybe they overreacted. 😬 Not that I’m talking from experience…nope not me.

Love you all and don’t be ugly,

Jennifer

 



Motivational Monday

Hey friends!  Thank you for allowing me to take the week off last week for VBS.  As always, it was a success!  Kathy and all the volunteers do such an amazing job and these kids just love it.  All the effort in the props, the Bible stories, and the food.  Seriously, chef’s kiss.  We might be a small church but one thing I know…we do VBS (among other things 🙂) RIGHT! 

Today’s motivation is brought to you by the weather and the raging heat and humidity we have all endured this last week.  😂  Ok, ok, I’m joking but not.  Over the last week, I have talked to many people who have been frustrated…including myself!  The fuse has been short and I have been blaming the heat.  Which is probably a huge portion of it BUT this got me to thinking.  And you know what that means, let’s talk about it.

When we look at frustration at its core, it’s an emotional response to opposition to the fulfillment of an individual will.  That is a nice way of saying, when we don’t get what we want, we aren’t happy.  So, I want you to envision your current frustration (whatever that may be) as a roadblock.  And the bigger the frustration, the bigger the roadblock.  You are headed down this road, because we have a special assignment that only we can do by God.  That’s why we are put on this Earth, right?  And you get to the roadblock.  If you are doing God’s will, why is it there?  Well…funny you should ask.  Go back to that first sentence of this paragraph.  WE aren’t getting what WE want.  What WE want and God’s will are two very different things.

So, let’s talk about a time in the Bible when frustration was high.  For the record, there are A LOT of examples.  Can you imagine Jesus’s frustration level??!  Anyway, let’s go way back to the Old Testament because frustration has been around for a HOT minute.  Moses.  He leads the Israelites out of Egypt and into the wilderness and then BAM!  Things don’t go as planned.  Probably because they were OVER having it hard for 400 years.  So they get frustrated with Moses and questioned him as to why he led them out of Egypt to die in the wilderness.  They even said it would have been better in Egypt (pause story.  Really?  Would they have really been better in Egypt?  No ma’am.  They were just mad and they were probably in the heat and there were skeeters around…can you feel their pain? Ok, unpause story).

As the story goes, you realize they became angry because of the obstacles in the path.  They could only see the roadblock and not God.  Now, in their case, some of them completely left the path and found new gods, which, woah.  They got WAY off course.  But, not to ruin the story if you are unaware, but God showed them!  He showed them He was in charge by giving miraculous provisions like manna and quail.  But…He wasn’t super happy with their frustration level so they stayed in the wilderness for another 40 years.  Back in the OT, God would show HIS frustration level more openly.  But, you can see the entire lesson there, right?  He gave them good times and bad times but it was all for His glory and their growth.

Like you and your frustration.  It’s what we do with it and how we respond.

What is important in frustrating times is to focus on blessings.  I know, I know.  It’s hard when you’re mad.  Deuteronomy 28:2 says, “And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God.”  And when you are counting your blessings, it IS ok to feel the frustration.  Even Jesus felt emotions.  We just don’t need to get stuck in those emotions.  Once you have your meltdown, ask God to realign you to His will and stop thinking your path is His path.

Look, I want to tell you that as a Christian, we will experience frustrations here and there.  But to be fair, that is just not going to happen.  I get frustrated over something everyday.  It can be something simple like breadcrumbs left in the butter or something bigger like a deadly illness, whether it’s you or someone you love.  And I know I am sitting here writing this, like I am a pro at managing my frustrations but I’m not.  I just know a guy that helps me with all my frustrations and He is literally a prayer a way.

Love you all,

Jennifer

PS- Remember y’all.  It’s hot.  It’s humid.  Fuses can be a little shorter and frustration can happen a little quicker than normal.  Go find some AC and talk to God. ♥️.  My experience says, that helps  😉

 



Motivational Monday

Hey friends!  I am so glad you stopped by.  Today, I want to talk about validation.  Where do you get your validation from?  Is it ok to want people to like you?  Let’s talk about it.

As I do every Monday, I think about the previous week and decide what to write about today.  I was laying in bed and I opened TikTok.  I follow a K-9 police officer and he’s great.  He’s funny, vulnerable and just wholesome.  When I opened the app, there he was giving a Monday message (oddly enough, I have never seen him give a message like this one). He said, “Stop trying to find validation in a world that crucified the perfect man.”  And that really hit me.  Wow.  I like to think of myself as someone who doesn’t need earthly validation but I do.  Let me give you examples: needing to be reassured, people pleasing, difficulty in making decisions alone, feeling anxious without approval, over apologizing, overachieving to gain praise, comparing yourself to others, and list could go on and on.  Do you see yourself in any of those?  Transparency moment..I see myself in every.single.one of these.  

So the pressing question, is it wrong?  As with every Motivational Monday most answers are not quite black and white.  There are a lot of gray areas.  So the answer is mostly yes and some no.  I’ll explain.

If you look at the examples I gave above, it all boils down to being liked.  Which means we naturally want to seek approval, fit a certain mold, wanting to belong and feel accepted.  But if you have ever been in this place of wanting these things it’s exhausting, frustrating and a lot of times end in disappointment.  It’s an emotional roller coaster.  For me personally, I struggle with wanting to be the best christian I can be (which can be difficult depending on the day).  I feel like I need to be an example so I see myself needing to be validated by what I am doing.  I know it sounds silly but that’s just how I think.  But then, I think, didn’t God make me this way?

Actually, yes. Isaiah 43:4 shows us that God designed us in a way that we yearn to belong. But here’s the thing, if we are looking for approval from others (even godly people) we will never truly feel validated.  They will fail you as YOU will fail them.  This is because they can’t fill our souls with what we truly need.  And truth be told, it’s unfair for you to place them on a pedestal for them to give the feeling of validation.

But if he designed us in a way of wanting to be validated, how is this wrong?  What does God say about it?  I need receipts!

So glad you asked.  Let me deliver.

When you seek validation from others, it can be swept up by emotions, compromise our beliefs, and grow frustrated because they (whoever they are) are not living up to our expectations.  In Galatians 1:10, Paul points out that if we are constantly trying to please people, we are not serving Christ.  We literally can’t do both.  1 Thessalonians 2:4, tells us that we have the honor of sharing the gospel.  So, basically, we can’t twist what the Bible says to fit their narrative.  And in Acts 5:29, Peter warns of people pleasers.  Pride cannot get in the way by wanting validation from others and placing ourselves above God.

Well, how can I determine if I am seeking external validation because I thought I was doing pretty good in the department?  Same friend.  I thought I was good but I realize I need work.

Here’s some scripture to help you weigh your personal situation.

  • Examine Intent- Galatians 6:4 reminds us to test our actions and motivations.  Are you doing this for comparisons?  Are you expecting or wanting an atta boy?
  • Consider your response to reactions- 1 Peter 2:23 shows us that despite Jesus facing insults and suffering, he did not retaliate or seek revenge.  This teaches us our self worth should not be defined by others.
  • Quantity and quality of sharing- Matthew 7:6 shows us the importance of discernment in sharing aspects of lives with others.  Listen, not everyone needs to know everything and that’s ok.  Some people are negative.  You can choose to not share certain highs and lows because it will expose you to negativity from certain people.  
  • Dependency on external validation- Galatians 1:10 tells us who we need to seek approval from and it’s not those here on Earth.  Our focus would be on pleasing God and not people.
  • Check your feelings- Philippians 4:4 tells us to find joy in relationship with God.  Remember, true joy comes from within and not in people.

This week I want you to challenge you in being honest about your validation on Earth.  Can you relate to these things and if so, how are some ways you change to seek validation in the Lord?  

Love you all,

Jennifer



Motivational Monday

Hey friends!  June is a big month for marriages.  How do I know?  Well, next Saturday, Jon and I will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary.  I’ll be honest, some days I didn’t think 23 years would ever get here! Marriage is hard but definitely doable with Jesus (and yes!  Marriage needs Jesus!)  So, let’s talk about it.

In our 23 year marriage, we have had countless.  Yep.  I stopped there.  Countless.  Countless fights, annoyances, and financial hardships (I’m really selling this marriage thing aren’t I?)  But, we have also had countless laughs, deep discussions, happiness, adventures, teamwork, pets 🙂, but most importantly, love.  Having been married for 23 years, Jon and I have learned a thing a two and I suspect we will continue to learn a thing or two here and there.  We are not experts, because the Lord knows we need help daily, but here are a few things we have learned along the way.

First, marriage is about “we” and not “me”.  Listen, when we first got married, I wanted things done my way.  We HAD to have certain things (that we couldn’t afford).  Jon was there trying to get me to see that WE couldn’t do those things.  Listen, marriage was created to embody selfless love, just as Christ poured himself out as a sacrifice (Isaiah 53:12). In a biblical marriage, God calls us to prioritize “we” over “me.”  I honestly didn’t know how selfish I was until I got married.

Second, marriage is about the long haul.  Nowadays, the mindset is, “Well, if it doesn’t work out, we will get divorced.”  No, no.  You took an oath before God.  The apostle Paul begins the familiar “love” passage in 1 Corinthians with the words, “Love is patient.” Patience in marriage is vital for a healthy relationship.  Relationships have seasons. Some seasons are GREAT and others not so great.  But we have to be patient to wait out the bad seasons.  Scripture says: The Lord is not slow about his promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. (2 Pet. 3:8-9, Rom. 2:4).

Third, marriage is a covenant and not just a contract.  Jon will playfully say, “Listen.  I got papers on you!”  Of course, this is just a joke but marriage is more than a piece of paper.  Marriage is God’s idea.  Genesis 2:24 says: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Just as God created an everlasting covenant with his people, marriage is a solemn and binding covenant between a man and a woman made before God (Eph. 5:32).  We are taught to treat everyone with Christ like love.  And yes, that includes your spouse.  It is so easy for your spouse to be the brunt of a bad day.

Lastly, and probably most controversial, marriage is counter cultural and not conformist.  I’ll explain.  Ephesians 5:22-24: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.”  In today’s time, many have an issue with this passage because some believe it justifies abuse.  In a Christian marriage, a husband’s role requires that he love his wife enough to lay his life down for her as Christ did for the church. God calls wives to respond to that radical Christ-like love with submission. (1 Pet. 2:13, 22-25, 5:5, Eph. 5:21). Ultimately, God requires husband and wife to submit to Him.

As sassy and headstrong as I am, when Jon says stop or no, I listen.  I don’t do it because I don’t want to fight.  I don’t do it because I’m scared of him.  I don’t do it because I am a submissive person.  I do it because I trust him.  I KNOW he’s looking out for me or us.  When he speaks authoritatively, I listen.  And to be clear, he doesn’t abuse this either.  In fact, he knows me well enough to know that I am more prone to do the EXACT opposite if he gets too sassy.

Listen, my marriage is not perfect.  It won’t ever be because we are two flawed people trying our hardest to be the best for God and for each other.  I have learned that our marriage is not defined by our disagreements. It is not defined by a bad day or the times we thought about giving up. Our marriage is about trusting God to be the driving force.  And just like everything in the world, you start at the top and it trickles down from there.  

Love you all,

Jennifer



Motivational Monday

Hey friends! How was your Mother’s Day? I hope you spent it with loved ones. I know holidays can be a difficult time for some (no matter the holiday). Holidays are a time that brings up memories…sometimes good and sometimes bad. Holidays can also leave us feeling lonely. So let’s talk about it.

There have been times in my life where I felt very alone. And trust me, I was never really alone. My husband, son and all our 8 million animals have always been there physically for me. In fact, there are times when being physically alone might’ve been nice at the time. 😉 But the alone I am referring to is being mentally alone. And, we have all been there no matter your age. This could be something small and insignificant to something huge like a loss of a loved one. But let’s be honest, the small things are usually the ones that come and go the most in life. Do you ever feel guilty about it?

Fun fact! Did you know May is Mental Health Awareness Month? It’s ok, I didn’t either until recently. But how appropriate this topic came up during this month.

Is it appropriate for Christians feel lonely? Well of course it is! If you listened to Pastor Scott’s sermon yesterday, he talked about Jesus having emotions. Can you imagine how lonely Jesus felt on the cross after He was betrayed by His disciples? I mean, man. What about in the Garden of Gethsemane when He wanted his disciples with Him yet they were asleep? If you have ever felt lonely, it’s not a good feeling at all. So why does God allow it?

Why does God allow anything bad to happen? He can stop or start anything He wants. So why does this happen? Well, just like all things, we have free will. Let me tell you how my mind works on this. We are a rubber band. When something happens, our rubber band is stretched. Sometimes just a little and sometimes it’s stretched to the max. Sometimes it stretches a little and little more and little more. But there is a time when the rubber band is going to break or you have to relieve the tension. What relieves the tension? God. Yep. Just God. Seeking Him and allowing Him to work through you resets your rubber band.

I think what is important when loneliness hits you is to compartmentalize it. That way, once you know where it falls, you will know how to correct it, right?

  1. Situational Christian Loneliness– This is where we don’t have enough friends and/or family.This could be more of in general or maybe you moved. So how do you combat that without making friends in an unchristian-like manner? Always be proactive in making friends. Listen, years ago, I met a lady while she was working at Publix. Today, I hug her when I see her out and I keep up with her on social media. You never know who or where you are going to meet someone! And social media…it’s great and it’s not so great. It’s great because you can stay in touch. And just go to church! I can’t tell you the amount of friends I have now just because I go to church. You don’t have to get involved in everything. Just go. Trust me. These people will be your friend!
  2. Emotional Christian Loneliness– Honestly speaking, this is what I experience the most. This is where you DO have friends and family but you feel like they don’t love you. This sounds really dramatic as I write it but we all experience it. This can be something as simple as not being invited to a party or social event you feel like you should have been invited to. This one is hard to get around because you are in your head. It is important to remember to not set unrealistic expectations for how people love you. You need to believe they do love you. Also, envy is a terrible thing. Envy sets the stage for loneliness (one of the downsides of social media). Remember, study your own lawn. Don’t worry why their grass is so green. And just be thankful! Thank Him everyday for what you have and WHO you have.
  3. Social Christian Loneliness– Where are my introverts? Shocker. Y’all are in the back. These are your socially awkward people, introverts and those with low self esteem. That all sounds bad but I promise…it’s not. My husband is an introvert and we complement each other well but it was a learning curve. So for those of you that struggle in this area, make sure to renew your mind daily. Have your quiet time with God. Ask Him to help you connect with others who see you as you are.
  4. Spiritual Christian Loneliness– This is where you don’t feel close to God. Or maybe you feel like God let you down. Listen friends, if this is where you are, know that it’s ok. But know that relationship needs to be fixed asap. You need to work on your relationship with God. That’s the only way to get out of that loneliness. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Tell God how you feel even if it’s not pleasant! Trust me, He knows what you’re thinking anyway. You might as well say it. If you are struggling to talk to Him and you are not there yet, start a new habit of renewing your mind. This could be self driven or group driven Bible study or maybe just journaling. Write it down! Write Him letters.

I would love to tell you that my life is perfect and I never experience loneliness. I am extroverted and I seem confident. In reality, there are days that it is all a show. And it’s normally something pretty small that causes me to get that way because I am in my head. All I am saying, you are not alone. You are never alone because you have Him. He is literally a prayer away. And listen, when I’m struggling, I just start talking. He knows and He loves me for it.

Love you all (and I mean it),
Jennifer

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